


Pretend With Me

by davejadeislaw



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, dave and jade are in it the most
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davejadeislaw/pseuds/davejadeislaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I got this idea off of a tumblr post. I don't remember the source, but here's the text from it: "how about a “our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and didn’t tell us it was a blind date, so instead of getting to know each other we spent the entire ‘date’ scheming against them and decided an awesome way to get back at them would be to pretend to date and then have a horrendous breakup but now that we’re two months into this charade we’re not sure what’s real and what’s fake anymore” au"<br/>Dave and Jade are going to be the most frequent characters. John, Rose, Kanaya, and maybe a few others will appear occasionally but not too often. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Date

Your name is Jade Harley and you are a little nervous.

As you put the finishing touches on your makeup, sticking with your usual natural look, you take a second to observe your reflection in the mirror. You sigh quietly before sliding your glasses onto your face. Who is this guy that John set you up with anyway? He said that the guy is pretty cool and that you’d love him, but you’re not so sure about the quality of your brother’s judgment.

You say a quick goodbye to John and leave the house, making sure that you remembered your purse and your cell phone. You then get into your car and drive over to the chosen venue for your blind date, a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling inside of you. 

~

Your name is Dave Strider and you can’t help but be a bit curious.

You don’t put too much effort into your appearance, because hey, you’re a Strider. Anything will automatically make you look like the coolest dude in any room and turn the heads of all the ladies. However, Rose seemed pretty enthusiastic when she set you up with this girl. She said that the alleged “mystery girl” is like a damn ray of sunshine or some shit like that. You’re curious, because Rose has never been so eager to set you up with someone before. She said that you’d really like her though, so you trust your sister’s judgment.

Quickly bidding farewell to Rose and Kanaya, who’s spending the evening in with Rose, you head out of your apartment and get in your car. Looking in the rear view mirror once quickly to check your appearance, you decide that you look awesome as usual and begin the short drive to the place that Rose arranged for you to meet with this girl.

Here goes nothing, you think.  
~

Your name is Jade Harley and you’re early to your blind date. You walk up to the server in the restaurant and politely tell them that you’re here under a reservation for Egbert. John said that he and the other person setting you up with this mystery guy agreed to set the reservation under his last name to avoid any mishaps with finding out who the date was. You thought the idea was silly when you heard it, and frankly, you still do now, but you decide to go with it. 

The server walks you over to a small booth and places two menus down on the table. You thank the person with a smile as they walk away and glance at the menu to pass the time when you catch with your exceptional hearing ability an all too familiar voice asking for a reservation for Egbert. You look up at the last possible moment, trying to hide how surprised you are, but to no avail. The shock is evident on your face as he slides into the seat across from you.

“Dave?”

~

“Jade… hey.”

Your name is Dave Strider and you should have known that Rose was setting you up with Egbert’s sister. You know her, but you don’t know much. Just that she likes gardening and her bright green eyes light up in recognition when she sees you. She just said something. What did she say? Oh, god, she thinks you’re ignoring her. Nod. Do something, don’t just sit there!

You nod in agreement to whatever she says, and thankfully that’s enough, because she smiles and continues talking.

~

Your name is Jade Harley and boy, do you ever shut up?

You were sufficiently surprised when it was Dave Strider who sat across from you. He looks effortlessly handsome in a navy blue blazer and jeans. However, you do find it a bit odd that Rose and John set you two up like this. You decide to voice your thoughts about it.

“Dave?” you ask.

“Yeah?” he responds nonchalantly.

“Don’t you think- don’t you think it’s a little weird?”

“That what’s a little weird?”

You inhale and exhale quietly. “You know, that Rose and John set us up on a blind date when we already know each other. Isn’t that a little strange?”

He takes a second to process your question and then nods. “Yeah, it is. You know what we should do?”  
You lean forward enthusiastically, waiting for what he’s gonna say next.

“We should play a trick on them.”

You pause for a moment. “A trick? How do you mean?”

“I mean a trick. Or a prank, whatever. We should pretend that we really hit it off and that we really like each other or some shit and then later we have this big reveal, complete with a surprise party, and we tell them we were pulling their legs the whole time.”

This idea intrigues you. It does seem interesting, after all. You are a little bothered with John for setting you up with someone you already know. You think the idea would be fun and harmless, and you have always wanted to prank your brother. All he talks about is being the ultimate prankster, and you want to prove him wrong. So you agree with Dave and say you’ll do it.

“Okay, great. Now, I’m gonna need your phone number if we’re gonna do this,” he says, passing you his smartphone with the keypad already open. You tap your number in and send yourself a quick message after you’ve saved yourself as a contact. You hand the cell phone back to its owner and save his number on your own phone. 

You enjoy the rest of the evening, swapping stories about each other’s siblings and laughing almost half the time. You’re thinking about how much you’ll enjoy this prank when it’s time to leave. 

“Okay, Dave. This was really fun. I’ll tell John we really hit it off, okay?”

He nods, his expression unclear past his shades. “Yeah, I’ll tell Rose the same. I’ll call you tomorrow, too. This is gonna be so sick,” he says, a hint of excitement peppering his words. You nod at him, bid him farewell, and get into your car. 

Driving home, you think about how you’re going to tell John about this. You have to really sell it. It shouldn’t be hard, though. You mean, it was a really fun time, after all. All you have to do is put some sort of romantic spin on the evening. John is going to be so happy for you.

When you reach your home, you park in the driveway and hurry to the door, pretending to be excited to tell your brother about the night you had. It’s no surprise that he’s hanging out in the living room and sees you as soon as you enter the house. He looks up eagerly at you and waits for you to give him the details. 

“Well?” he asks curiously.

“Thanks so much, John,” you say with an award-winning smile on your face. “Tonight was amazing!”


	2. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Jade go on a double date with John and Vriska. Things are weird. Stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this one, it's twice as long as last week. wow

Your name is Dave Strider and you have your sister fooled. As you tell her about the details of your night, you act as though you’re having some sort of revelation.

“Rose, this is such a trippy fucking thing. I’ve never felt this way about any girl before. Jade is so- she’s just so beautiful and kind and I’m really looking forward to seeing her again. Shit, if I call her now would that make me seem too desperate?” You make your voice a little panicky for good measure, and, thankfully, Rose eats it up.

“Well, David,” she replies with something of a smirk, “If you really like this girl, you should call her. Judging by the way you told me about your date, it seems as though she really likes you too, so you have nothing to lose. Call her now and ask her to lunch tomorrow.”

You make an effort to appear the tiniest bit nervous. “Now?”

Your sister nods. Reluctantly, you pull out your cell phone and dial Jade’s number. The phone only rings a few times before you’re greeted with a familiarly enthusiastic voice.

“Dave, hey! What’s up?”

~

Your name is Jade Harley and your brother is eating up the story you’re telling him. He leans forward enthusiastically as you spill out the details to your evening with Dave, and a smile is plastered on his face. 

“Yeah, John, I had the best time tonight! Dave is so funny and cool and handsome, and I’m so excited to see him again!”

John loves this, of course. “Well, Jade, Vriska and I were gonna go out to lunch tomorrow. If you’d like to join us, you’re welcome!”

“Really?” you feign excitement. When he nods, your artificial smile is even wider.

“Thanks so much, John! I think I’ll call him tomorrow-” You’re interrupted by your cell phone ringing. It’s Dave. “Or right now!” you say as you pick up the phone.

“Dave, hey! What’s up?” you answer enthusiastically.

“Hey, Jade, I was wondering if you’d be up for a lunch date tomorrow. Would that be cool?” You can hear the feigned nervousness in his voice as he says this and you just know that Rose is right next to him while he’s saying this. You remember what John just offered and smile as he watches you excitedly.

“Yeah, of course! You know, John actually just offered to let us accompany him and Vriska on a lunch date tomorrow! Want to do that?” You make sure that the excitement for the date is evident in your voice. You even look over at John nervously as if asking with your eyes if you’re doing okay and he gives you a big thumbs up. You smile at him and continue focusing on the call.

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Dave replies. “So, I’ll get to your place at around 11:30?”

“That would be awesome, Dave! See you then!” He also bids you farewell and hangs up. There’s a second of silence before you look over at John and squeal with excitement.

“This is great, Jade!” he says. “I’ll call Vriska now and let her know that we’ll be having company!”

You nod at him, this time your happiness genuine, even if it isn’t for the reason he thinks. You and Dave are pranking them so good. 

~

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re… nervous?

No way. This thing you’re doing with Jade, it’s… It’s fake. You can’t develop feelings for her, at least not this early on. Thankfully, you’re good at hiding feelings and stuff like that, and your signature shades will never come off anyways, so you can hide anything you’re feeling pretty well. You try to keep your voice close to a monotone most of the time anyways. 

You continue prepping yourself for the lunch date as you push these thoughts to the back of your mind and leave the house once you’re done. Rose was only staying with you for a little while until she found a place of her own, so you’re living on your own again. There’s no one to say bye to when you leave the house.

When you pull up to Jade’s house, she’s just exiting the front door. Her emerald eyes light up when she sees you, and you let yourself admit that it’s adorable. You mean, it’s totally fine to admit when someone is cute, right? Right. She gets in the car and says hello happily, and you greet her back. The ride to the restaurant is silent for half the trip, until Jade speaks up.

“Uh, Dave?”

“Yeah?” you ask calmly.

“I was thinking, about this whole prank. I’m pretty sure you weren’t serious about this part, but maybe we shouldn’t have some sort of extravagant reveal at the end?”

You think for a second, then respond coolly. “Yeah, that would be pretty weird. We should have, like, a really awful breakup instead and then once they decide to have us talk to each other about it and ‘discuss our feelings’ and shit like that we laugh at them and tell them we were faking it this whole time.” She ponders this for a minute, and just as you’re about to say that your idea is probably stupid, she interjects. 

“Dave, I think that’s a great idea!” 

You’re relieved that she thinks so, but instead of showing that you just nod and pull into the parking lot of the place. You make sure to open the car door for her and then the restaurant door, because hey, even if you’re fake-dating her, she needs to feel special. She smiles in thanks and then looks around the place for John and Vriska, her eyes lighting up in recognition when she does. 

~

Your name is Jade Harley and you’re not sure about how this is going to work out. You really should have discussed this with Dave first, but it’s too late now. 

You walk over to greet your brother and his girlfriend with a smile on your face. A tinge of nervousness attempts to worm its way inside of you before you force it back down as Dave pulls out your seat for you and then pushes it in. You smile at him and thank him for doing so, and he just nods as he sits in his own seat next to you.

“Hey, Dave, Jade! How are you guys?” John starts. Thankfully, Dave answers first, and with a voice that oozes confidence. You’re sure he’s much calmer about this than you are. 

“We’re doing pretty good. How about you guys?” Suddenly, you’re not so sure. Even if you don’t know Dave extremely well yet, you feel that this isn’t something he’d usually say. Maybe he’s just really good at masking emotion…?

John accepts this, however, and Vriska just eyes the two of you. She seems a bit annoyed that John invited his younger sister and best friend to their date. After all, John did just move in with Vriska. He was staying with you for a few days while everything was settling in, and you’re sure that Vriska was hoping for some privacy. 

The date goes on, and not very well. When John asks you or Dave a question, you answer as if the answer was something you had to put on a test, not as if it was about someone you were interested in. Soon, you can’t take it, and you stand up, excusing yourself to the restroom.

~

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re under a lot of pressure all of a sudden. John is asking you a lot of questions. You don’t know what to say. What is usually a cool and monotonous attitude is suddenly very nervous and on-edge. When Jade excuses herself, you say you’ll go with her. 

“Jade, what the fuck?”

“What? He was asking us too many questions and I couldn’t take it! I’m sorry for excusing myself from an uncomfortable situation!”

You sigh softly. “Jade. The whole point of this thing is to make them believe that we’re into each other. How is this gonna look to them?”

“Are you okay, Dave? You don’t sound like yourself.”

“No, I’m not fucking okay, you’re-” Suddenly you cut off your words. You see John coming towards you and Jade. You don’t know what to do. In a sudden uncharacteristic burst of insanity, you mutter a quick apology to Jade and smash your lips into hers.

At first, she protests, but once she hears John’s voice she understands and then goes with it, not having to pretend to be embarrassed when she turns around to see him.

“Oh, sorry, John! I guess we just can’t keep our hands off each other!” she says, laughing. You decide to release a chuckle of your own, because shit, this is all so weird. Thankfully, John doesn’t seem to detect all the awkward in both your voices because he jokingly suggests that we get a room.

“You know, Vriska seems a little bugged that you invited us along, bro,” I offer. “Maybe we should split.” It’s all Jade can do to not thank me audibly. 

“Are you sure? She seemed fine to me.”

“John, she’s been giving me the stink eye this whole time,” Jade says. “I think Dave’s right, we’ll just go.” John reluctantly agrees and bids them both farewell before rejoining his date.

“Dave,” he says in a hushed tone, “I know you really like my sister, but don’t be too rough on her, okay? She’s all the family I got and I couldn’t bear to see her upset.” You nod and reassure him that you have absolutely no intention of hurting Jade before saying a quick goodbye and meeting her outside. You’re greeted by a reprimanding voice that makes you want to apologize a thousand times over.

“Dave Strider, what the fuck was that?”

~

Your name is Jade Harley and you’re infuriated. Dave kissed you. He really, actually kissed you. In front of John too! In front of an entire restaurant! You demand some answers.

“Jade, I am so sorry,” he starts, “but John was coming and I panicked and that was the only thing I could-”

You stop him. “Okay, first, wow, you panicked? I thought you were this cool guy who gave no shits. And secondly, I’m not exactly mad at you for kissing me.” This makes him almost appear surprised. 

“Really?” he asks. You shake your head no.

“I’m upset that neither of us had the foresight to kiss before going on a double date so we’d both be used to it.” You watch him for a second, and he nods in agreement.

“Yeah, I guess that was a shit move on my part. How about we try it now?” he asks oh so smoothly. You blush a little.

“Yeah, that would be- that would be good.” You nod a little. He steps towards you to eliminate some of the space between you and gently kisses you on the lips. You shut your eyes and stand there for a second, finding the position tolerable, even a little enjoyable. After a little, he pulls away and seems to search your eyes for a response. At least, you think he is, because you can’t see anything past his shades. That gives you an idea.

“Dave, what color are your eyes?”

“Oh hell no. You can’t see that until at least the fifth fake-date.” Before you can try to reach for them, he already has a tight grip and opens the door for you to enter his car. You think it’s a little odd that he won’t let you see, but you decide to shrug it off and get in the car with him. He closes the door after you and gets into the passenger seat.

When you arrive at your house, he turns off the engine and sits there for a while. You sit in silence, shifting your weight slightly. Then you get an idea.

“Dave, I think we should meet up at my place tomorrow to discuss the plan.”

“What plan?”

“You know, of how everything is gonna go down, how we have to act- both in public and behind closed doors- stuff like that.”

“Oh, right. Yeah. So, I’ll be here tomorrow sometime in the afternoon for that, is that cool?”

You smile and lean over to kiss him on the cheek. “Cool.”

You get out of the car and enter your house, only looking back once to wave goodbye to Dave.

You’re gonna prank John so well.


	3. Confuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Jade try to plan things. They aren't sure what's real and what isn't anymore when it comes to their relationship, if they can even call it that. Also, a JohnVris thing happens. Yeah.

Your name is Jade Harley and Dave’s coming over soon. You’re usually very neat and tidy but somehow your house just can’t get clean enough. You aren’t even sure why you’re nervous, because it’s just Dave. Your partner in crime, and nothing else. You know this, so why does he keep creeping into your thoughts as something different? 

You decide that your house is as good as it’s going to get and stop cleaning. You sit down on your couch and pick up a book from the coffee table. You pretend to read it as you think about how today is going to go. You’ve both agreed to get more used to kissing each other, and it’s a lot of what’s been on your mind lately. The feeling of his lips on yours, the warmth, the softness. Kissing Dave was quite an experience for you and you’re kind of excited to do it again. This terrifies you though, because this isn’t the plan. You’re not supposed to actually develop feelings for him, just pretend. What are you even doing right now?

You hear a knock and stand straight up, grateful for the distraction from your own thoughts. You open the door and greet him with a wide smile.

~

“Hey, Dave! Come on in!”

Your name is Dave Strider and dammit, why is Jade so effortlessly damn adorable? You nod at her and walk inside her house. Everything looks so clean and nice, but not in an obsessive way. It looks like she wasn’t in any rush when she cleaned, and everything has its place. She closes the door behind you and walks over to her couch, sitting on it and enthusiastically patting the space next to her so you can sit. You fight back a smile at how cute this is as you sit next to her.

“So, Dave, the next thing we have to go to is-” You interrupt her by kissing her softly. She doesn’t have to know that it’s because you wanted to. When you pull away, she looks at you questioningly, her entire face heated up.

“We need practice” is all you say. She gives you a look for a few seconds before laughing, agreeing, and moving on. You listen attentively and nod when appropriate.

~

Your name is Jade Harley and holy crap, Dave just kissed you. Without warning. You shrugged it off when it happened just now, but if it’s gonna happen any more, you’re going to have to know beforehand. You mean, you guess that any time that you’re with him is a fair time, but still. That was. Nice? No. No, it wasn’t. Okay, it was. A little. You’re flustered nonetheless and decide to keep talking to him about the things that are going to happen over the next week or so.

~1 Month Later~

“Hey, babe. What’s up?”

You giggle at the name he calls you. “Dave, is anyone even around? You don’t need to call me that when it’s just us.”

“It’s a habit, I guess. Anyways, I found this really cool joint downtown where they recite poetry and shit while you eat, maybe they’d let me drop some of my sick rhymes? Can we go?” He is making a clear effort to make you say yes. You know him too well now to fall for it. However, you decide to fall for it anyway and you say yes. 

“Awesome. Later,” he says before hanging up.

You lock your smartphone and sit down. In the month or so that you two have been “fake dating”, you and Dave have gone on several dates, and gotten very comfortable with the dynamic that you need to fool John and Rose. They are so happy for the two of you. They really seem to believe that you and he are in a perfect relationship. The thing is that you aren’t so sure what’s real anymore.

You kiss him and you feel something inside. You can never tell if he’s feeling something inside as well, because surprise surprise, he hasn’t shown you his eyes yet. You get your things ready as you prepare to leave the house for a party. It’s at John’s place. He says that he’s “secretly” planning to propose to Vriska, but everyone knows, probably even the fiancée-to-be herself.

Once you pull into the driveway of his house, you get out of your car and knock on John’s door. Vriska opens it moments later and gives you a half-hearted smile as she welcomes you into her home. You smile enthusiastically at her and greet her politely before finding John in the kitchen. He loves to cook, so he’s making all the food for the party. Except the cake, which isn’t really a problem since you can do it yourself. 

The party turns out exactly as planned. You made sure that everything is presentable and neat and you’re sipping on a citrus-y drink when Dave walks in.

He’s done it again, you think. He’s wearing something so simple that on him looks so good. He looks so handsome, you let yourself think for a second. You smile and walk up to him as he wraps an arm around you and kisses your cheek.

“Hey babe,” he greets.

“Hi Dave,” you respond. You hold each other’s gaze for a second longer before he lets go of you and you both start to mingle with the other guests. Rose gives you a look, which you shrug off. She doesn’t care that you don’t really acknowledge it since she’s with Kanaya. They always have such interesting conversations.

Suddenly, John catches the attention of everyone in the room. This is his big moment, you remind yourself. You absentmindedly grab Dave’s hand in excitement, squeezing it as if to let him know that this is it, John is doing it, and he gives your hand a small squeeze in return. John starts to speak loudly, almost authoritatively.

“First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming out today,” he begins. “I have a very important thing that I have to do!” 

He makes sure Vriska is facing him, then looks her in the eyes. 

“Vriska Serket, I love you with all of my heart. I often wonder, how would I live without you? I don’t know what I would do. What kind of life would that be? Anyways, what I’m trying to ask is…” He gets down on one knee and there are random squeals from around the room.

“Vriska, will you marry me?”

She tears up, the first time you’ve ever seen her show a real emotion other than slight disgust. 

“Yes,” she says. She smiles and he smiles and they hug and kiss and suddenly everyone is hugging and you and Dave are hugging and you stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and then look away, embarrassed.

That night, Dave drives with you to your house to make sure you make it home safe- what a dork- and walks you to your door once you get there.

“Jade,” he starts.

“Yeah?”

“That was really a nice thing that happened, wasn’t it?” This doesn’t sound like Dave. Is he… is he nervous about something?

“Yeah, it was…” You stand there for a second, looking at him. He looks like he’s contemplating doing something when he steps forward to kiss you goodnight.

This kiss is different. It’s a little more deliberate than others. It’s definitely the longest kiss you two have shared. However, that doesn’t really bother you. You find your arms wrapping themselves around his neck and he wraps his around your waist. Your lips move along with his and you pull away finally to breathe. 

You take a deep breath, compose yourself, and turn around to unlock your door, not wanting to talk about what just happened.

“Good night, Dave,” you mutter as you close your door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god I am SO SORRY I know it's like 11-ish at night but hey at least it's still the weekend! I hope I didn't disappoint, especially since I'm late this week. Thanks so much for reading my story, guys. I really appreciate it. I'm thinking of only making it a few more chapters. This is a good concept and I don't want to drag it out extensively, you know?


	4. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Jade go to a place. Something accidentally comes out. Bad, feelsy things ensue.

Your name is Dave Strider and frankly, you’re excited as shit to go to this café. Jade being with you has nothing to do with your excitedness. That’s what you keep telling yourself. Well, not telling, exactly, because that would imply that it wasn’t true, and you know that it is among the truest statements you have ever said in your mind. It’s so unironically true that a lie detector test wouldn’t be able to handle it. So true that it could bestow only the purest blessings on a newborn baby.

…What were you thinking about again? Oh, right. Jade. You mean. The café. Yeah. 

Anyways, you and Jade make your way to the place. It’s open mic night and you plan to rap your heart out. You checked the place out online (thanks to Jade’s suggestion) and found out that you can sign up right on their website, which you did. Dave Strider, the 6:30 slot, performing his own freestyle rap. You’re sure everyone in the house will love it.

Once you get there, your excitement rekindles itself once again. You exit your car and hurry to the other side to open Jade’s door. She knows how excited you are as you walk inside with her following close behind, and she seems pretty excited herself. Of course she is. You mean, she IS about to hear you perform at your best. Why wouldn’t she?

Inside is an awesome looking place. There’s a little spotlight on a chair with a microphone and you are so ready. You and Jade get a table and sit down, ordering something to eat. You don’t even care that you obviously look like a child right now, you’re just happy to be there.

~

Your name is Jade Harley and dammit, Dave is just being so cute right now! He is so excited. This is adorable. 

The owner of the restaurant walks up to the microphone and welcomes everyone in. He gives this small speech about being SO excited to host this open mic night. He says a few more words that you don’t hear and then steps off the stage. Everyone claps as he announces the first performer.

“And, first up tonight is a young man named Dave Strider, performing a freestyle rap!” 

You clap so hard that your hands sting as he walks up to the stage. You’re the loudest one clapping but you don’t care. Once he steps up, you stop. He gives an awkward greeting and then starts. You try to listen to what he’s rapping about, but dammit, he looks like he’s enjoying himself so much! You can’t help but watch him adoringly as he raps his heart out. 

Soon, he’s finished, and he sees the look on your face. You remember that you probably look like an idiot right now and shake your head quickly as if that would somehow shake the expression off your face.

“Uh, Jade?”

“Yeah?” you ask innocently. 

“What was that look you were giving me earlier? You know, when I was up there. You looked… Really happy.”

You try really hard not to blush. “What look? I was just looking at you, and… You look funny when you’re rapping.”

A look of feigned offense covers his face and he places a hand over his heart. “Wow, Jade. That was so unironically cold of you to say! How am I even gonna live with myself now?” 

You giggle a little and smile at him, not answering. Instead, you turn forward and decide to watch whoever’s performing now. 

After a while, you’re both done with the café and you decide to leave. Dave takes you home and walks you to your door, just like usual. You stand there for a little while before starting to turn towards your door. You start to say something as you turn that stops you in your tracks.

“Bye, Dave! I love you-” Your eyes widen and your heart threatens to jump out of your chest. You stay in the position you were in and refuse to meet his eyes. What he does next is a total surprise.

He turns you so you’re facing him again and holds your chin up so you have no choice but to look up at him. He pauses for a moment, then takes the rim of his sunglasses. Your eyes widen as he gently pushes them up to the top of his head and stares you in the eyes with his own for the first time since meeting you. He stays like that for a moment and then he kisses you.

Your heartbeat picks up a bit and your eyes shut. You kiss him and he kisses you and oh my god, you’re doing this for a long time. Finally you pull away and rest your forehead on his shoulder. You close your eyes and try your hardest not to bring up what has to be said. 

“Dave, I think we should do the break-up soon.”

~

Damn.

Your name is Dave Strider and you just kissed Jade again. You’re not gonna lie, it was amazing. But what she just said was just… damn.

You pause for a second and then, secretly feeling very vulnerable without your shades on, you pull them back down over your face.

“Right. That should happen soon.

“So, when should we do it?” You can hear the awkward in Jade’s voice. You shift your feet as if you were thinking. You take another pause, trying to seem disinterested.

“Why not now?” You try not to sound bitter when you say this, but it’s a little more difficult than usual. You mean, she just said she loved you. She couldn’t have been saying that just for show. You hate to admit it, but you’ve developed some feelings for her, too. All this is just a big “what the fuck” in your face. You’d like to get it over with.

You can tell that she’s trying to hide an expression of pain. “Yeah… I’ll. I’ll tell Rose. Gotta make sure I can make myself cry first!” she says with a voice that’s obviously trying too hard to be happy.

“I guess so. I should probably be a little upset too,” you say calmly. You don’t know what else to do, so you say “bye” quickly and walk away. You try to get out of there as quickly as you can, because you can’t take the negative atmosphere any longer. Also, seeing Jade cry would probably make you lose it too, something that would be shit for your reputation.

You leave her house silently and somewhat regretfully, trying not to be too upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER IT MADE ME EMOTIONAL JUST WRITING IT  
> but yeah thanks for reading this far and also I'm really sorry for posting it like 4 days late haha  
> Also, I decided that this will have 8 chapters. Chapter 7 is gonna be an optional read, for smut purposes. ha okay thanks
> 
> edit, several years later: I don't wanna disappoint you but if you don't already know I ended up deleting the smut chapter lol I couldn't go through with it


	5. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Jade have just "broken up". They are both very sad about it. But, like. Dave. He can't show it or anything. Jade is less reserved about showing her feelings. However, John and Vriska are getting married tomorrow and they have to suck it up because regardless of how they feel, they have to be nice to each other for that day.

Your name is Jade Harley and you don’t know what to do with yourself anymore. You mean, you’re not exactly upset about the breakup and how sudden it was. You’re upset because…

Fuck it.

You’re mad. You actually had feelings for him and he just threw them under the bus. How could he do something like that? Who cares if it wasn’t technically real? You just. You don’t do that. 

You decide to ask Rose to come over to talk about it. After all, she set you up with her brother. She has to know. You call her up and she agrees to come over immediately. You thank her before hanging up and waiting on your couch for her to arrive. 

She arrives a few minutes later with a bucket of ice cream and a bunch of donuts and Kanaya following close behind. As soon as she puts the things down, she gives you a huge hug and demands that you talk about it with her.

“I don’t know, Rose,” you begin, “I thought we really had something special. And yeah, I know, that’s, like, the corny line of the century, but I don’t care. I just. I really thought we’d last longer than this, you know? I just…” you have to stop, because you’re just so angry. Rose thinks that this means you’re about to cry and then hugs you again. You don’t refuse, resting your head on her shoulder.

After a minute or so, she starts talking. “You know, Jade, Dave is kind of an idiot.” Kanaya nods in agreement. You pull away from the hug and stare at her. “What? He is. He refuses to show any type of emotion most of the time. He probably broke up with you because he was starting to really feel something. I saw the way he looked at you.” 

Kanaya decides to join in. “Jade, you are a wonderful person, I hope you’re aware. Honestly, Dave just isn’t capable of appreciating someone the way he should. He might be afraid of loving you, of feeling something real. He probably already does.”

You think about the moment before you broke up. You said that. You didn’t mean to, but you did. Why the hell did you say it? You could have still been “with” him if you hadn’t said anything. Why did you have to open your mouth? You could have played it off as a slip of the tongue and everything would have been fine, but noo, you just had to say it. Why did you say it. You don’t make these thoughts vocal, but they’re all you can think about. 

“You really think so?” you ask, knowing the answer but appreciating the reassurance. They both nod at you, continuing conversation and not really paying attention to whether or not you’re listening. You don’t care though, because you honestly just really appreciate that they took the time to be with you. You push away small wonderings of what Dave is doing right now as you watch Rose and Kanaya tell you things you’re not listening to.

~

Sigh. Your name is Dave Strider and yeah, you just thought the word “sigh” in your head just now instead of actually sighing. John and his alien fiancée are talking to you about what happened last night. Jade broke up with you, you’re supposed to act heartbroken and shit like that, but there’s a problem.

You actually kind of ARE heartbroken?

Shit, man. You just. What the fuck. You knew you were developing feelings for this girl, but did you love her? These thoughts are running through your mind as you listen to John and Vriska talk. Rather, you’re just kind of nodding while John rambles away about feelings and love at first sight and shit like that, with the occasional interruption from Vriska. You manage to stay like this for a little while before Vriska notices you aren’t listening and yells at you about it.

“Hey, Dave, show a little fucking emotion. You and your girlfriend just broke up. Don’t you at least feel a little bad about it? Seriously, you two are still going to be in our wedding together, and I will NOT be happy if you can’t act normally around each other. This is really a bad time for this. Man up and apologize to her, damn it! The rehearsal dinner is tonight. If you two aren’t civil towards each other I swear I’ll throw you off of something.” This worries John a bit, and he interjects.

“Whoa there, Vriska! She won’t throw you off of anything, Dave, but her statement still stands. Please be nice to my sister. I know that she may have hurt you, but this is only a couple of days. Vriska and I are getting married tomorrow and then you don’t have to talk to her of your own volition. Okay, Dave?”

You realize that he expects an answer, his eyebrows raising as he waits for you to say something. You mutter a “yeah, sure,” dreading the next 48-or-so hours. 

~

Your name is Jade Harley and you’re dreading this rehearsal dinner. You go to it, sure, but that’s because you have to. You’re dreading having to sit next to Dave and having to be nice, even jovial, with him, and you’re dreading tomorrow the most. You can’t really trust how you’ll act around him after all this, and as you drive yourself to the event’s venue, you practice your best smile and hope he doesn’t seem too upset. If he does, you swear you’ll lose it.

You pull into a parking spot at the place. It’s the ballroom of the hotel that John and Vriska are getting married at tomorrow. You’re not exactly filled with excitement at the thought of having to be this close to him for all that time, but you’ve dealt with worse. You can do this, no sweat. 

Walking into the room, you immediately see John talking to your cousin Jake about Ghostbusters or something. You smile and walk up to them, only to realize (much to your dismay) that Dave was standing right behind John this whole time! How could he do this to you? Why is he even there? You shake your head of these irrational thoughts and put on your most winning smile.

“Hey John, Jake! Everything turning out okay?” you probably sound a little too happy when you say this, so you try to tone it down as Jake starts to speak.

“Hello, Jade! Yes, everything is splendid so far. You’re a bit late, aren’t you? That’s not the norm for you, Jade. Is everything alright?”

Right, Jake doesn’t know about anything that’s happened. He just flew in. You assure him that everything is fine, ignoring a look from Dave. You excuse yourself and move to sit in your seat. 

The dinner passes by quickly. Dave sits next to you because he has to, but neither of you say a word to each other. You can tell he’s upset, but you stay firm. You keep smiling and laughing when appropriate and run through the event as quickly as possible, wanting it to be over.

As you drive home, you think to yourself, tomorrow is going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys im sorry i took so long this was the least important chapter and your regular programming schedule will continue as planned.


	6. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Jade are in the wedding. Dave approaches Jade and things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's happening this is it oh my god are you as excited as i am

Your name is Dave Strider and you are still dreading the fuck out of this wedding. This may come as a surprise, but you still have some feelings for Jade. Like, real actual ones. Thinking back to when you were still “dating” her, you can’t help but remember that you miss her smile. Her real, genuine smile that can light up a pitch black room in an instant. You miss her clear, bright green eyes that always watch you with attentive curiosity. You miss… her. You miss Jade. This whole wedding thing that’s happening really isn’t helping either.

However, you straighten up as you look in the mirror in a room of the place John and Vriska are getting married in, and you see John behind you, frantically looking around for his tie. You’re not doing this for Jade, you remember. You’re doing it for your dork of a best bro, and, to a lesser extent, his bride-to-be. 

Straightening your tie one last time, you turn to John. “Bro,” you start, “Calm your shit. Did you look for your tie on… your neck, maybe?” John looks down to see it there, perfectly put together, and laughs nervously.

“Heh, thanks, Dave. I’m just so nervous!”

“Why? You’re marrying this girl because you love each other, right? And that’s what matters. You’ll be fine, trust me.”

John watches you as you realize the slight irony in your words. “Do you love her?”

You try to play it off. “Who, Vriska? I know that you kinda sorta have a thing for her, but she just isn’t my type.” John shoves you gently and you sigh. Like, an actual sigh, not like the ones where you think the word “sigh” in your head.

“Man, I don’t know, maybe. But this isn’t about me, today is about you. Besides, she’s probably completely over me anyways.”

You refuse to look at John as he takes in what you just said, then check your watch. Shit, John has to be there already. Like, now. 

“John, it’s time.”

“Time?” He says with a grin that you just know means that he’s making a joke about you.

“Yeah, just go. They’re waiting for you.”

John listens to you and walks out of the room quickly to take his place in the wedding hall.

~

Your name is Jade Harley and you’re so nervous. You’re in a room with Vriska, Rose, and Kanaya, making the final touches on your appearances, focusing mostly on the bride-to-be. You look in the mirror for a few seconds as Vriska makes a fuss about something you don’t hear about. 

“Jade? Hello, earth to Jade!” You suddenly snap back into reality and turn around to see Rose.

“Hmmm?” 

“Jade, come on. It’s almost time! We have to line up!”

Right. You all make a sort of formation and walk slowly towards the entrance to the place where the happy couple is getting married. The order is Kanaya first, who will walk down the aisle with Karkat, Rose, who will walk down with Dave’s cousin Dirk, you, walking down with Dave, and finally, Vriska, being walked down by Tavros. You think it’s nice that Tavros decided to walk Vriska down the aisle despite their shaky past. They can’t exactly have her lusus do it, because that would be pretty weird for the human side of the family.

Anyways.

You try to put on a smile as you get ready to walk down the aisle before the bride. You look over at Dave, shades predictably still on, and take a deep breath. You remind yourself of who you’re doing this for as you begin to walk. 

Everyone oohs and aahs at you and the other bridesmaids, but everyone is waiting for the bride, of course. Once you and the others have taken their places, everyone in the sanctuary stands up and looks towards the door. The song they always play in the beginning of weddings begins its first few notes as the doors open. There’s a collective gasp throughout the room as Vriska walks in, looking as beautiful as ever. You watch her for a while yourself even though you’ve seen her already, and then remember to look at your brother. He has a look on his face that you’ve never seen before. It’s a look of intense admiration and happiness, and you just know that this is the happiest moment of his life so far. You let your eyes wander to Dave for a moment, who is either looking straight at you or at John, then look back at Vriska. You stand quietly as the rest of the ceremony goes on, happy to be a part of such an important moment in your brother’s life.

You’re not thinking about Dave at all.

~

Your name is Dave Strider and man, you can’t stop looking at Jade. You mean, yeah, Vriska looks pretty too, but Jade. She looks so beautiful. You thank the universe or the gods or God or whoever/whatever is up or out there that you got a new pair of aviators after the ones John gave you as a kid stopped fitting on your face because otherwise you’d have to go around actually SHOWING how you feel, and damn. You’re glad that Jade can’t see where you’re looking, because you can’t stop admiring her beauty. 

You notice John’s expression and see that he’s having the best day of his life, and you see that Vriska is actually really smiling for once, but these are just details to you. Of course you’re happy for your best friend, but you’re having such a hard time concentrating. Lucky for you, you only have to stand there and not say anything. That is, until they do the ring thing. You’re thinking so many different things that you almost don’t hear when the minister starts talking.

“Dearly beloved,” he begins, “we are gathered here today to celebrate the love that John Egbert and Vriska Serket share.” 

You tune out after about ten seconds, waiting to hear the word “rings”. You almost don’t hear when it’s your time, used to tuning out of lots of things, like school or long parental lectures from relatives or your friends’ parents. 

You snap back into reality and hand John his ring, Jade handing Vriska hers. 

“Vriska Serket,” John says as he slides the ring onto her finger, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“John Egbert,” Vriska also says, and you swear she’s getting misty-eyed, “With this ring, I thee wed.” Everyone is smiling and happy as the minister says the final sentence.

“John Egbert and Vriska Serket, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” He doesn’t even have to say the last part, because the couple starts kissing before he finishes. Everyone is cheering and the music is playing and hell, you even smile a little. John’s your best friend, he deserves to see some of your emotions. 

Later that day, the reception takes place. Everyone who participated in the wedding is still wearing the same clothes, but you’ve all moved to the hotel where everyone is staying. Each of the bridesmaids are wearing similar dresses, but each dress is the favorite color of the girl wearing it. Kanaya’s is a dark green, Rose’s is deep purple, and Jade’s is lime green. They all look lovely, but you obviously can’t keep your eyes off of her. Jade. Damn, you know you’re in trouble. You’ve never had thoughts like this about anyone before. You need to tell her how you feel.

~

Your name is Jade Harley and Dave has probably been staring at you since the wedding started. You mean, you can’t tell, since his eyes are always covered, but he’s been facing your general direction all day. At the reception, you two are on opposite sides of a table where the bride and groom also sit, but it’s still happening. His head seems to be angled slightly upwards so it looks like he’s admiring the building, but you know he never does that. He’s probably staring at you, but you don’t want to feel too conceited, you guess, so you drop it.

Anyways, the reception is beautiful. The cake is beautiful. Of course, John won’t have any, but he still does the traditional cake slicing with his new wife. Vriska’s happiness from the ceremony itself is still present, but she seems to be making an effort to act like she thinks all the events are lame. 

Suddenly, it’s time for her to throw the bouquet behind her. You, the other bridesmaids, and several other women gather behind her, eagerly awaiting the toss. When she does throw it, all the girls seems to lunge hungrily at the thing like it was the first meal they’d had in months. However, with your halfhearted attempt to grab it, you do. The bouquet practically lands in your waiting hands and your eyes widen. Everyone around you cheers and congratulates you. You smile, and when you look around, you see Dave. He’s still looking straight at you, but when you meet his gaze he turns his head away, and you think you imagine his face reddening the tiniest bit. 

Later, you’re standing by the dance floor, watching lots of happy couples and groups of friends as they dance to the band that John picked out. You stand there and think of Dave and how much you seem to miss him. You miss his warmth, and the way he looks when he finds something genuinely amusing enough to actually laugh at it. You miss the way he would sneak kisses on your cheek even when no one was around and you didn’t have to pretend. You stand by yourself for a few minutes until you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turn around, thoroughly surprised by the person standing before you.

“Hey, Harley, would you like to dance?”

Shocked, you nod your head, and he takes your hand. A slow song is playing, so he places his hands on your waist, yours resting on his shoulders. You look up into his eyes, waiting for an explanation as to why he asked you.

He notices your expression, and starts to speak. “Listen, Jade, I…” He doesn’t continue, but you know it has something to do with your break up. Your face hardens.

“What, Dave, you’re sorry? Well, thanks for the sentiment, but it’s too late. Besides, you have nothing to be sorry about. None of it was real.” You remove your hands from him, push him away, and walk out of the room, keeping an angry face until you reach your floor, never looking back to see if anyone followed you before the tears start to fall.

~

Shit. 

Your name is Dave Strider and Jade just left the room. You expected this though, so you immediately start following her. She gets into the elevator before you can join her, but thankfully you know what floor she’s staying on, since it’s the one right below yours. You also thank your brother for forcing you into being fast and the elevator for being a bit slow, because you immediately take the stairs and sprint up to the third floor as quickly as you can. 

You throw the door open and run into the hall, your eyes immediately seeing Jade. She sees you too, tears in her eyes, as she turns around and walks the other way. You grab her arm and make her listen to you. 

“Listen, Jade. No, please. Really listen to me,” you plead. Her eyes widen, knowing that you never do this, and she sniffles, not moving anymore. “Jade, I know that this sounds cliché and stupid but I really am sorry. I freaked out. You can’t blame me for what I did. When you said you loved me, I was…” 

She looks at you expectantly. “What, Dave? Were you terrified because I showed actual emotion, something you clearly know nothing about?”

You continue. “I was relieved.” Jade looks shocked again, and she lets you keep talking. 

“I was relived, because I knew you were telling the truth, and that made me feel less weird about having feelings for you too, real feelings. I hate to admit it, but I was scared. I knew that you were just pretending with me, and these feelings creeping in were definitely not cool.” This makes her smile a little. She starts to say something herself.

“Dave, I… You hurt me. You can’t change that.”

“I know, and as much as what I’m about to say sounds like a shitty 90s chick flick, I’m willing to make it up to you. I want to spend as much time as I can making you feel like the most important girl in the world, because that’s how you should. Always.”

She’s looking at you with a smile that you missed more than you’ll ever admit. You and she both know that if anyone ever asks, you’ll never admit to saying all the cheesy things you just said, but that doesn’t matter. Right now, everything is right. Right now is what matters.

You walk up to her, eliminating most of the space between you two. You stand almost too close as you look down into her clear, bright green eyes as you say the last bit. 

“Lastly, I’d like to say that…” You stare into her eyes so intently that you don’t even notice when she pulls your shades off.

“Yeah, Dave?”

“Jade Harley, I am so fucking sorry for hurting you, and I’d like to start dating you again, but this time, for real.”

She smiles wide, making you smile too, as she does something you don’t expect. She leans up and kisses you, probably with more intensity than she means to. It only takes you a moment to kiss her back, placing one hand on the side of her face and the other on her waist. You stay like this for what feels like not long enough a time before she pulls away.

“Dave,” she says with a huge smile, “you got yourself a deal.”

You grin back before kissing her again, this one becoming a bit more heated than the last. Running your fingers through her hair, you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. She presses herself against you, taking your bottom lip and biting gently on it. A sound escapes your lips, which you find embarrassing as hell, but she seems to really like it. She breaks the kiss and walks toward her room, looking back at you when you don’t follow. You get the message and quickly catch up with her, shutting the door behind you both once she opens it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha sorry that took so long and also sorry it was so rushed
> 
> The next chapter is an optional read, so to be fair to those who may not like smut I'm uploading the two final chapters at once. This is it, you guys! What should have taken two months but now has taken more than half a year is coming to a close. Thanks, everyone, for sticking with me for this wild ride.


	7. Optional Read

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is the smut, skip it if you want. it's also probably not that good because i wrote it really quickly and yeah im sorry if it's not detailed enough or something which it probably definitely is

imagine what would have happened here because im really embarrassed by this chapter and writing it was awkward for me and POSTING it was even worse and if you actually liked it for some reason im sorry that i took this away from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if youre reading this right when i posted it, wait like two minutes for the next and final chapter to be uploaded! otherwise, thanks for reading this far you fuckin nerd


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave looks back and is very very happy that his life turned out the way it did

Your name is Dave Strider and you have the perfect wife and perfect children.

You named your daughter after your mother, Roxy, and your son after Jade’s cousin, Jake. They are both so beautiful that you often marvel at the fact that they’re yours. One day, you, your beautiful wife, and your amazing children are out in a park for a family gathering. It’s someone’s birthday, you’re sure, but you never remember stuff like this. Jade knows and that’s all that matters. 

Speaking of your ethereal wife, she walks up to you, planting a small kiss on your cheek. “Come on, hon,” she says, “it’s time for Dirk’s cake.” Right. Dirk had a son and named him after himself, and THAT’S whose party this is. You nod and follow her to a gathering of some of your family members. 

Everyone gathers around the small boy, his father’s triangular shades resting on top of his head, as his whole body wriggles with excitement. The cake looks pretty fuckin cool to be honest. It’s very similar to the symbol on your favorite shirt you had as a teenager, except it’s cut in half, sort of. As everyone sings happy birthday to the young boy, you look around. You see Rose and John and Kanaya and Karkat and Dirk and your kids and your wife and you remember all the events that led up to this moment. Meeting Jade, later getting set up with her, faking a relationship, fake breaking up, starting a real relationship, and everything in between. You realize that you’re so fucking grateful that you made this life for yourself and that you can share it with her. Of course, you’d never voice these thoughts, because they aren’t cool at all, but you’re allowed to think them all you want as you admire your beautiful wife, the last words of the song escaping the lips of everyone around you.

You take Jade by the hand and walk away from the party a bit, and when she asks, you say that you just want to thank her.

“For what, Dave?” She looks up at you with those amazing green eyes.

“For pretending with me.” She smiles, looking down and laughing a bit.

“Dave,” she says as she looks up at the sky’s fainting traces of daylight, “It was always real.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cries my baby is all grown up thanks guys i love you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first serious davejade fanfic. Please be gentle with your opinions!


End file.
